malo smeha v inglišu

A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it.
He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
While he is there, the husband tells his wife:”Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you”
To which the wife responds, “I am glad you think that way. Sure, he has not seen a woman in years, but he was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too…”

HA HA HA HA HA HA ….ej polepsal si mi vecer :))))))

LITTLE OLD WOMAN

Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
D.A.: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
L.O.W.: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a
warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up and
sat down beside me.
D.A.: Did you know him?
L.O.W.: No, but he sure was friendly.
D.A.: What happened after he sat down?
L.O.W.: He started to rub my thigh.
D.A.: Did you stop him?
L.O.W.: No, I didn’t stop him.
D.A.: Why not?
L.O.W.: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away
some 30 years ago.
D.A.: What happened next?
L.O.W.: He began to rub my breasts.
D.A.: Did you stop him then?
L.O.W.: No, I did not stop him.
D.A.: Why not?
L.O.W.: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and
excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!
D.A.: What happened next?
L.O.W.: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and
said to him, “Take me, young man. Take me!”
D.A.: Did he take you?
L.O.W.: Hell, no. He just yelled, “April Fool!” And that’s when I
shot the @!#$!

:)))))

heheh:)))))))hihih:)))))))))))

kul, sem si kar mislila, da bo mož tisti, hehe… ful je dobr

doooost dobr

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding
anniversary, so they decided to return to the little town
where they first met. They sat in a small coffee shop in the
town and were telling the waitress about their love for each
other and how they met at this same spot. Sitting next to
them was the local cop and he smiled as the old couple
spoke.

After the waitress left the table, the old man said to his
wife, “Remember the first time we made love, it was up in
that field across the road, when I put you against the fence.
Why don’t we do it again for old times sake?”

The wife giggled like crazy and said, “Sure, why not.”

So off they went out the door and across to the field. The
cop smiled to himself, thinking how romantic this was and
decided he better keep an eye on the
couple so they didn’t run into any harm.

The old couple walked to the field and as they approached
the fence they began to undress. The old man picked up his
wife when they were naked and leaned her
against the fence.

The cop was watching from the bushes and was surprised at
what he saw. With the vitality of youth, the wife bounced up
and down excitedly, while the husband thrashed around like a
wild man, then they both fell to the ground in exhaustion.

Eventually, they stood up, shook themselves, and got
dressed. As they walked back towards the road, the cop
stepped from his hiding spot and said, “That is the most
wonderful love making I have ever seen. You must have been a
wild couple when you were young.”

“Not really,” said the old man. “When we were young, that
fence wasn’t electric.”

One day, a sunday-school teacher asked her students what
they thought going to heaven would be like.

Little Suzy answered: “I think you go up head-first, because
your head is where you think about God.”

Then little Joseph raised his hand and said: “I think you go
up heart-first, because God lives in your heart.”

Then little Tommy says: “I think you go up feet-first!”

The teacher asked him: “Why do you believe this, Tommy?”

To which Tommy replied: “Because I walked into mommy and
daddy’s bedroom and saw mommy sticking her feet into the air
saying ‘Oh God, I’m coming!’ and if daddy hadn’t been lying
on top of her, she would have floated away for sure!”