Ali jo imam, ali ne?

Pozdravljeni!

Danes sem mal brskal po internetu in prvic naletel na MOM .. .je mozno da ga imam (no sej baje ga imamo vsi mal 🙂 ) No mnenja bi bila dobrodosla ali jo imam ali sem hipohonder .. pa da ne obremenjujem zdravstvenega sistema….

Zakaj tko mislim:

1. Sem star 34 let in mam ze kar nekaj let pol kufr svojga zivljenja, rad bi neki spremenil, sel sem do skupine za samopomoc (drustvo za dusevno zdravje oz podobno), sel sem po antidepresive (ki so dejansko pomagal neki malega), rekreiram se bolj intezivno, ven hodim zvecer (ob pomoci alkohola in drog), dajem na zunanji videz,

2. Skos imam obcutek da sem prazen, 2 leti nazaj sem imel epizodo da sem se zlomil in jokal 3 dni, in se mi je celo zdel fajn ker sem po dolgem casu cutil nekaj.

3. Ne maram druzenja z ljudmi (mislim da so po vecini arogantni, egocentricni, …), najraj bi se se starsev odkrizal. A hkrati se pocutim osamljenega. in iscem ljudi za druzenje….Nimam niti 1 prjatla, nekoga ki lahko poklicem, da b sel na kavo .. ponavad grem k mami al pa do fotra na kafe, kosilce … no tut njudva bi se odkrizal ce b se lahk… sam tak egocentrik pa nism ..

4. Skos si iscem ljubezen, sem celo sposoben najti “zrtev” (punco) in pol en kup kreganja .. skos mi kej manka.. tko k zej .. 7x sva se razsla v 2 mesecih .. prej sva se z eno drugo razsla ene 4x v 1 letu ..

5. Impulzivni odhodi (tako sem nasel MOM) .. nazadnje par dni nazaj mi je zavrela kri .. sem zacel letet proti avtu, punca za mano .. sicer se je prilizovala, sam je nism mogu gledat vec tist vecer .. no na konc sva se cist spicla in zej js mal iscem ce b si lahko kako pomagal… ker punca mi je vsec….

6.Nimam niti 1 prjatla, nekoga ki lahko poklicem, da b sel na kavo .. ponavad grem k mami al pa do fotra na kafe, kosilce … no tut njudva bi se odkrizal ce b se lahk…

7. Kr neki zvim v tri krasne .. brez custev, brez cilja (no najdt si punco s katero bi shajal), brez veselja, nc od nc .. res hecn … kdaj si govorim, da zvim zato ker je samomor najbolj sebicno mozno dejanje (pac tega starcem neb naredu) .. in kot gor napisan ne maram sebicnosti..

8. zloraba drog, nepremisljen seks (ehh sej v slo ni velka vrjetnost da kej staknes … + nism glih nek romeo)

vrjetn bi lahk se kr kej napisal ….

NAJBOLJ ME MOTI DA NE MORM VZPOSTAVITI NORMALNGA ODNOSA (pismo pr mojih 34 bi se pa ze lahk naucil) ..

Vsako mnenje in ideje dobrodosle …. Hvala

tudi jaz sem osamljena. nisi edini. drži se. tu je nek vakum, na tem forumu.

Pozdravljeni!
Napisali ste kup zanimivih opažanj o sebi in raziskujete poglobljeno. Zelo vam priporočam, da bi si prebrali knjigo, ki jo je napisala Rachel Reiland in ima naslov Get me out of here. Gospa Reiland govori o sebi, kako je okrevala in kako je potekala terapija MOM. Knjiga je v angleščini – žal nimamo prevoda v slovenski jezik.
Lep pozdrav
MZD

Pozdravljen!
Zelo me je fascinirala tvoja zgodba in bi ti rada povedala, da si lahko ponosen nase, da vse to tako dobro vidiš. Ko se spomnim sebe pri tvojih letih, mi ni bilo nič jasno. Nisem se znala tako dobro opazovati in tako lepo opisati svoje stanje. Vedela sem samo, da sem drugačna od večine ljudi in sem se zaradi tega počutila grozno.

Upam, da bereš angleško, ker bi ti rada svetovala, da pogledaš na en blog, ki je meni razjasnil marsikaj. Piše ga ena punca, približno tvojih let, ki ima mejno osebnostno motnjo. Zelo zelo zanimivi teksti.
Enega bom skušala prekopirati v ta post, če bo ratalo.
Drugače pa najdeš to stran na: http://www.downwardspiralintothevortex.com

Wednesday, May 15, 2013
What To Do When You Have No Emotional Support
Today I want to talk about something I think a lot of us deal with at some point in our lives, if not for long periods of time in our lives: What to do and/or how to cope when you have no emotional support beyond yourself.

At some point in your life, for whatever reason, you might find yourself alone. Not just emotionally alone, but physically alone. In need of emotional support.

There are the professional options that many of us need and probably should seek. However due to many reasons such as financial difficulties or general lack of therapeutic resources in your area of the world this might not be an option for you. Many of us are embarrassed or don’t believe in therapy as well. Whatever your reason, this might not be an option. Maybe you want to, but you’re a single parent and you can’t leave your kids or you don’t have transportation. Maybe you have a spouse that just doesn’t give you emotional support (this is a whole different bottle of badness, really). Whatever. Shit happens.

So what do you do?

You do the best you can. You will struggle. A lot. Sometimes you’ll flounder. Sometimes you’ll think you can’t take it anymore and one more thing will be the thing that breaks you. And then that one more thing happens and miraculously you find the strength to push through.

Often times the problem is we don’t have family, or friends, or people that we know because we’re new to an area, but that doesn’t mean support doesn’t exist somewhere.

1. Therapy – If you have the means, don’t be afraid to seek a counselor or therapist. It’s not even something off the wall anymore. It’s practically mainstream now. Everyone and their neighbor sees a therapist these days.

2. Support Groups – They’re not as formal as therapy. Often they’re hosted at your local libraries or churches. You can meet other people that are struggling with issues similar to what you’re dealing with. Maybe you won’t be able to find a Borderline support group, but at least look for something that hits on an issue or two that struggle with so you don’t feel so alone and that you know that there are others out there for you.

3. Community Involvement – Even if it’s not specific to your issues, get involved. This is something that my friends don’t often realize. Just having them around is SUPER good for me. If I’m really depressed and having a hard time, I don’t necessarily talk about my problems, but just getting out and doing something that you enjoy, even if it’s with people that you don’t know yet, can be a big help.

4. Journal – I’ve said this many, many, many times before. Write those thoughts, feelings, and emotions down. They don’t have to make sense. Just get them out. They can be so overwhelming when they’re just an intangible mass floating around up there in your mind. Get them on paper so you can look at them and really get a sense of them. Get them organized so you can deal with them and maybe do something about them. Even if you can’t do anything about them, I almost always find that when I get my feelings out on paper that they seem lessened and easier to handle. It’s a huge relief.

5. Cry – It’s okay. Let it out. Let them go. Sometimes you really do just need to let it out. Crying can be cathartic.

6. Exercise – This one is particularly effective when I’m sad or angry. The harder I work out, the more capable I feel of coping with whatever is troubling me.

7. Get a Pet – This is a real and big investment. However, caring for another creature is a as much an act of self- love as it is an act of selfless love for a creature in need of a loving home.

8. Get On-line – This world isn’t as disconnected as it once was. The internet is an amazing resource where you can form real connections with people just like you, dealing with issues just like you are. You may never meet face-to-face but that doesn’t mean you can’t form real, lasting connections with people and help one another out in times of need. I have made some absolutely astounding friends on-line. Better than many, if not most, of the people I’ve met in real life. If you only know me through this blog, you may not know my face, but odds are you know more about me than a good deal of the people that actually see me every day. You have an opportunity to find a very tailored community with people that are willing and able to listen to you. Hell, I started a FORUM just for this very reason. Right up there in that top right corner. Free. Just for you. Help is out there. It might not be perfect. But it’s something. There are so many on-line forums where you can get support. Reach out!

9. Get informed – One of the worst feelings is not knowing what the hell is going on with you and feeling like you’re going crazy, alone. Note: The impetus for this blog. Take what you find out with a grain of salt though. You don’t want to make the mistake of misdiagnosing yourself and freaking yourself out, don’t do that… but you know, familiarize yourself with your symptoms and realize that what you’re going through has a name, or may have a name and that there are other people going through what you’re experiencing. Read up!

10. Keep Busy – It’s the dead air, the empty times that are the worst. When our minds are allowed to roam into those bad places of darkness of doubt and self-loathing. I know it’s not possible to always remain busy, but we can do our best. Pick up a cause, volunteer, get a hobby, invest in your job, your kids, etc…. keep your mind busy and not focused on the negative as much as possible. We all know this is easier said than done, but as long as you keep trying, you’re on the right path.

11. Be Kind to Yourself – Practice positive self-affirmations and acts of self- love. Even if you don’t always feel it, treat yourself with kindness and focus on your positive attributes. When you have no one else in your life, the only one you have to rely on is, you. You will always have you, for as long as you live, you will always have yourself. You should build yourself up as if you’re the most important person in your world, because you are. It can truly, truly suck sometimes to be on your own, but in the end you will be a stronger person for being able to take care of yourself. For as unfair as it seems (sorry, the world doesn’t care about fairness – as a concept it really doesn’t exist) you will be able to manage. And when you do, acknowledge it with a big freaking trip to the spa, or the salon, or the tattoo shop, or wherever, because you deserve it.

I find often that what we want is for others to always make the effort. We need to take some responsibility though! We need to reach out! We are responsible for our own well-being. As hard as it can be, we need to make an effort and invest in our own emotional well-being. If we sit and wait for others to do it for us, it’s probably never going to get done because other people have their own problems, and not for nothing, other people aren’t always that observant, might not know you’re in distress, or unfortunately might not care. Be proactive! Take your mental health into your own hands!

I felt like this most of my life. In middle school and college I actually didn’t have any real trustworthy support because my relationship with my family wasn’t good and my friends were, well, not very healthy relationships. In college I didn’t have anyone close to me. Not really. Not until I finally moved in with my sister which pretty much changed my world for the better. Then when I moved to New York and in with Evil-Ex and was completely Alienated from everyone I had zero emotional support. Not until I moved in with xRoommate did I finally understand what it was to have real honest to goodness emotional support. And even then it took me a while to grasp this concept. With baby steps. A little at a time. I’m better at giving emotional support than receiving it, but still. This was 2 and a half years ago! I’m 32! That’s a long time to go without a proper emotional support network. I’ve had to rely on myself for a very long time. It’s not easy, but it can be done. Hopefully only for as long as you need.

—–
Ratalo je prekopirati, ampak nista se pa prenesli dve zelo lušni slikci, ki sta v tem tekstu 🙁
Zato priporočam, da poiščeš ta tekst na internetu… da vidiš slikci… se splača 🙂

Drži se!

Zivjo!

Prvo hvala vsem za odgovore, podporo. Mal sem pozabil na to, ker takoj ni bilo odgovora.

Naj najprej opisem kaj se dogaja. S punco, katero sva se stalno razhajala dokoncno sla narazen. Ker je nisem mogel pustiti na “normalen nacin” (bila mi je fizicno privlacna, vendar ni imela pravega odnosa) sem spal z drugo punco in si tako “pozgal most za sabo”. Sedaj me sovrazi. Jaz sem jokal 2 dni in mi je bilo hudo kaj sem naredil. Komunikacija po tem je med nama potekala preko smsjev, ona je bila jezna, jaz pa sem sebe v nic dajal in njo poveličeval. (ko se zamislim mal bolano od mene, saj sem jo pustil zaradi osnovanega razloga – pomankanje spostovanja in pozornosti do mene). Tko zej sem spet cist sam, pozablen od boga, z zeljo da neki naredim, da prekinem ta zacaran krog, ki traja ze 17 let (od zacetka zasvojenosti s travo, ki je trajala 5 let)

Mogoce v prvem postu ni najbolje napisan… Rad analiziram na dejstvih, ker se mi zdi da sem tako najman subjektiven. Dejstva:

1. Hodim v sluzbo, zivim sam, ukvarjam se z ekipnim sportom ze vec let in tudi tekmujemo, potujemo, hodim ven se zabavat (vecinoma sam), kdaj pa tudi s klubom. – se slis normalno
2. V klubu veljam za obcutlivega, ker se mi dogaja da znam nekotrolirano popizdit (zaradi pomankanja spostovanja drugih, arogantnosti drugih, sebicnosti drugih // Kdaj znam tut inpulzivno zapustiti trening,…) Sam me spostujejo do neke mere, ker nisem slab igralc, me potrebujejo, tko da imamo nekako vljudnostne odnose.
3. Skos se dajem v nic, vedno iscem razloge za kak konflikt pri sebi, ce kaj ne gre krivim sebe, se cutim manjvrednega … kar pri drugih (pomojem) izzove pomankanje spostovanja, nadvlada … cesar pa ne prenesem in ali popizdim ali odidem..

————————————

No zej sm se ujel da ze mal na preveč dolgo razlagam. Problem je v odnosih.
Js se znam jokat, ko bi se mogel smejati in obratno.
Timinga nimam vec, za kej rect (ce sva vec k 2 sem 99% tiho, oz me ne upostevajo).
Probleme drugih prevzemam prevec nase in neznasko socustvujem z njimi, medtem ko moji problemi “niso pomembni” (tako se izrazam)
Sem prijazen, vljuden, do tocke ko je kdo aroganten, sebicen in nesramen. Takrat ponavadi postanem jezen in strupen (vmesne faze ni)
Ne znam se kregati, ker mi zavre kri.
V bistvu se najbolj shajam s puncam, ce sm jim vsec, takrat so prijazne, naklonjene, socutne. Moskega prijatla nisem imel ze 12 let. Tko da je moj vzorec da se druzim z bivsimi puncami (2 do sedaj) s katerimi postanem pravi prijatel.

Spet razpredam

—————————————————–

Hvala za knjigo bom probal prebrati (sicer nisem bral ze 20 let, sam imam pa zeljo)

Tiste tocke so zanimive, se posebej 11 (kako se vzljubiti) sam pa pogresam navodila kako se vzljubiti, da se neham v nc dajat, da bi postal vsaj mal ponosen. Bom raziskoval naprej po internetu.

Vsem zelim cim manj mejnosti in cim vec skpunosti 🙂

Lp